So I have heard of pregnant women having weird dreams about their kids. I didn't realize that parents who got their kids by way of adoption had weird dreams too. The other night I had my first really weird dream about my baby or maybe about the adoption, either way, still weird.
The other night was just like any other night in the Raney house. Get home late, go for a run, eat something (leftovers, sandwich, cereal, etc.). Jace watched some TV and I read some more in Eclipse. Then go to bed. This has been the routine for a while.
I usually don't dream at all. See I'm a pretty light sleeper, and it is my understanding that you have to be in a deep sleep to dream, and well, I don't usually sleep real deep. Maybe that's why I'm so tired all the time, but that's a topic of discussion for another day.
Anyway, this night was different. I dreamed that Jace and I were in Russia (or well I imagine it was Russia, everyone spoke English, but what do you expect…this is my dream and I don't know any Russian, so the characters in my dream certainly wouldn't either). We were about to meet our baby for the first time. I was so very excited. We only had to sign and date one more document before they would bring the baby out.
Well this is where it gets interesting. See I forgot how to sign my name. Yes, in the dream I totally forgot what my name was and how to put that name on paper. Jace was there with me and he kept trying to tell me my name, but it was like my brain had shut down. Jace was trying to be patient, but he was losing his cool in the dream. Jace is usually pretty patient with my stupidity, but not this time. I guess he was about ready to meet the kid too.
As you can probably imagine, in the dream, I was in hysterics. I could not believe this was happening to me. After several failed attempts (yes, they made me sign it over and over again until I could get the "Emily Allen Raney" to look like the signature on my passport), I finally got it.
The next hurdle was the date. How in the world do you mess this up? Jace had just signed above me, and dated it, no problem. Well for some strange reason, I decided that the date should not be written horizontal. It should be written vertical. WHAT? WHY! Why in the world would my brain decide to write the date up and down? Who can even understand that? I can even remember seeing the line for the date, it was horizontal. What would ever possess me to write the date like that? Am I seriously crazy?
I was becoming more upset, and so was Jace, and about that time….I woke up. Not just woke up…I gasped (loudly) and sat straight up. I wish I had just gasped, but no, evidentially in the process of gasping, sitting up, and becoming conscious again, I must have inhaled some dog hair or dust or something. So now I'm totally upset about not being able to sign my name, print the date, or meet my baby…I'm also choking to death. I begin coughing and gasping for air.
So, I'm over there, on my side of the bed, crying, coughing, trying to breathe, basically fighting for my life, and where is my wonderful husband? Sleeping. Not even concerned in the least bit. Got to love him. He can sleep deep, every night. I'm so jealous. I wish I could sleep through that kind of commotion. (I was not quiet, at all. Nor was I trying to be…I really wanted him to wake up and tell me I'm not crazy, that I have not gone mad. It would have been nice for him to get me some water too).
I decided that sitting in the bed coughing and gasping for air was probably not the best idea…I wanted to get up. I needed something to drink. I went to the kitchen and got some water. Lucy and Ella followed close behind me, they were concerned. At least I know now if I die from choking on dog hair or dust in the middle of the night, someone would notice.
So there you have it. What in the world does that even mean? Am I going to go crazy in Russia? Are they going to give me a kid if they know I'm crazy? Oh the madness!
I now make it a habit to sign my name once each day. I will not forget how to do this when we get to Russia!