Tuesday, February 23, 2010

What do you hope for?

I figured it was about time for a second guest post!

So, as of late I've had a lot of my friends adding children to their families or trying to add children to their families.  There have been stories full of joy that would make your heart soar so high it might obtain a fear of heights. And I've had friends that have fought battles that would make you're spirit shudder at the depths of the darkness they have endured. All this family-ness has gotten me thinking...because one day I want a large family...I know I need to clarify this because thanks to TLC the concept of a large family has been redefined. Growing up, I was one of five children (plus an additional foster child every now & again) and in those days (wow, I'm officially old enough to say "in those days") we, as a family of seven, were considered a large family.  People would stare at us when we went out to eat (and THAT was a rarity!).  I'm sure it didn't help that my father was one of the most popular teachers in our tiny town or that  my mom loved to paint our fingernails Peacock Blue...but EVERYONE knew the Siclari's. If we weren't easily targeted for our family size...we were oh so easily picked out by the Volkswagon van that we always seemed to own.

Aaaand, back to the point...all these people adding or trying to add children to their families have me at this weird in between stage in my life. Mom, MIL, don't get your hopes up, we're not working on adding children to our life quite yet, there's still that trip to Italy first!  But I've definitely been thinking about it more & more. When my husband & I do make that important decision; one that brings a new life into our family...what do I hope for?
I don't know how many of you know, but my dream family isn't necessarily a conventional family...I want a minimum of 4 children and I'm definitely not looking to birth them all (if any). It's crazy to think that I, well, my husband & I have the power to mold a life! I'll get to teach them things & watch their little eyes when it all finally makes sense! I'll get to introduce them to the concept of a home.  We'll teach them what a Mama & Papa (yes, Papa, that's what we called my dad & I would LOVE for my children to do the same! None of this Daddy stuff )  ;)
There is so much at which to wonder, and so much to fear! What if I'm a terrible mother? What if I fail to control my temper? What if my husband is more attentive to children outside our marriage than he is to his own family? What if I can't handle the pressure? What if my children think I'm terrible? What if my husband & I drift apart?
You see? There's so many positives & negatives to think about...but these, these are my hopes:

~ To find & live out the balance of a friend & disciplinarian for my children.
~ Make sure each & every child knows how deep & unconditional my love is for them.
~ *this is only most because I totally plan on each kid learning an instrument & a sport that they will play until their early teens when they'll be allowed to decide if they want to stick with it.
~ To be an active & healthy family (we're working on that before kids)
~ Be the cool mom,  but with boundaries.
~ I want the house that is a never ending revolving door of kids (as in my children's friends)
~ That my house will be a safe place.
~ My children will always be able to talk to me.
~ I want my children to find a best friend in each other.
~ My house will stimulate creativity & fun.
~ No child will ever be embarrassed to hug, kiss, & tell us that they love us.
~ That each child will have a drive in something: sports, grades, career, art, etc.
~ That each child will love to read & be read to.
~ My husband will show our children how much he loves them, by continuing to love me.
~ I will show our children how much I love them, by continuing to love my husband.
~ My husband & I would only fall more in love with each other.
~ Our children, each of them, will know how incredibly important & special they are each in their own way.

~ The importance of family & a sense of belonging will be consistent in our home.
~ That my family will know: Family runs deeper & thicker than blood.


  1. Yay! I love your guest posts :) So many good things to think about. I try to remember (and pray) continually that the most important thing I can do for my
    kid(s)is to teach them about Jesus Christ and love them the best I can!

  2. Yes, totally do Italy before children. Spend LOTS of time in Rome and eat TONS of gelato! You can worry about the healthy family stuff after Italy...and one day may you look back and think, "Italy was great, but these kids are even BETTER!"

  3. Wow. What a great post. I agree with Scarlett…do Italy first! You won’t be able to fully appreciate any big trip after you have a kid…because nothing could ever compare to the kid. Italy will hold no interest for you then.

    Oh and don’t worry about being stressed about being a bad parent…we all make mistakes! No matter what anyone tells you, no one really has it all figured out. We just have to do our best with what we’ve been given.

    And I agree that big families are the best! As one of four, I wouldn’t trade anything for the life experiences I had with my siblings. And in the end, Mom was right, your siblings are your best friends.