Friday, December 28, 2012
Do you have a question?
It’s no secret…I love talking about adoption. I don’t mind questions, so long as you are asking with the right heart, I’m happy to share any details of our past and future adoption.
I want to take a minute to answer a few of the questions we have been getting so far.
Why are you adopting internationally?
Jace and I answered this question a lot when we were going through the process with Cohen. We feel God leading us to adopt internationally. Please remember that every family is different, and each situation must be looked at individually. You probably know someone who has adopted domestic, and you know someone who adopted internationally. The processes are different, but the end result is the same. We want a child to call our own.
Why China? Why not Russia again?
This was a tough decision. We had an amazing experience in Russia and we would love to do that all over again, but truth be told, it just wouldn’t work for our family right now. We can’t leave the country for a month when we have a 4 year old to take care of as well. I was concerned that the travel dates would conflict with his school schedule next year (he’ll be in kindergarten) and he’d end up missing too many days. China requires one trip and it could be 1.5-2 weeks.
Also, we must be conscious of our finances. Russia is a very expensive program. God gave us everything we needed with Cohen, and I have no doubt He could do it again, we just don’t feel that it's the best use of our resources at this time. With the travel time being considerable shorter, and only 1 trip necessary, that cuts the cost almost in half.
Now that we are both 30+, we can apply to adopt from China!
As you may be aware, Russia recently (as of this week) voted to cease adoptions with the United States. So, Russia is no longer an option for any American family at this time. I’m not going to get on my soapbox about this, but we do need to pray for the thousands of children in Russia who will never have a forever family because of this decision. This is a political battle and the ones suffering are the children. It’s just not right.
Will you get a girl this time?
We did not specify. Just like the first time, we really don’t care. I adore my little boy and I’d love nothing more than a houseful of boys just like him, but if God gives us a girl, we would be trilled with that too. Either way, it’s a child, and that’s what we really want.
When will he/she come home?
Not sure. We are going through the special needs program for China. What that means is we basically filled out a form stating what conditions we were comfortable with and what would work best for our family. Once we complete our paperwork, we must wait for a child to meet our conditions to come available for adoption. Could be 6 months, could be 2 years.
How old will he/she be?
As with our first adoption, we want a toddler/preschooler. I feel like Cohen was the perfect age when he joined our family (he was 20 months old). I gave a broad age range on the paperwork, so really we could get any age. The only thing we did specify is we would like for the second child to be younger than Cohen. I know lots of family who adopt out of birth order, but I don’t think I want to do that to Cohen just yet. Maybe next time we will get a teenager and skip all the potty training stuff.
Will you use the same agency?
YES! This was the easiest decision to make. We loved our agency when we went through the process the first time. They were wonderful! If you are considering adopting, please check them out at www.eaci.com.
How much does it cost to adopt?
I get this question a lot, and I’m happy to answer your questions, but I will not give specifics about my personal adoption history. Sorry, that information is very personal. The internet has lots of useful places you can search to find the average cost of an adoption (www.adoptivefamilies.com) or if you are seriously interested in adopting a child, please feel free to contact my agency (www.eaci.com). They have always been honest and up front about all costs associated with adoption.
Micah Shanks, a friend of mine who just recently came home from China with his son, put it best when he was asked if adoption is expensive. He said, “Yes, yes it is... But, how much would you be willing to pay to get one of your children back if they were in a foreign country? With that frame of mind we really haven't stressed about the cost. We keep writing checks and God keeps blessing us.” AMEN! At the end of the day, you cannot put a price on a child. As with our first adoption, God will take care of us.
Do you have any adoption related questions I could help answer? Doesn’t even have to be about my second adoption journey, could just be general questions about my first adoption, attachment, bonding, feeding, sleeping, travel, etc. Feel free to put your questions in the comments below or if it’s personal, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org